Say what "You" need to say or self care behavior

     As you can see I was not able to continue posting to this blog over the Summer as I had hoped. The job that I took made me very happy, but sadly it took a great deal out of me physicality and mentally and did not allow me the internet access that I thought I would have.  Due to this I did not make the posts that I expected to make and now that I am back in school I have even less time to make post as I am now working part time on top of attending nursing school, but that is not what the purpose of this posting is.

    The purpose of this posting is to talk about what I have realized in this time period of being almost completely away from this blog. I "NEED" to write. While I was working over the summer I made the promise to myself that I would write something each and every day. Even if it was just a single sentence I needed to write something. In making that silent and meaningful promise I came to realize that I write a lot in my personal time. I write in a journal, I write announcements for a community newsletter, I write blog posts and what could be called the most important is I write letters to my now fiancee, Biohazard, who is attending school over 6 hours away from me. Many people find it strange that I write her letters, even with me talking to her several times a day and texting almost nonstop that I would still have anything to write. Well to be honest I know that what I write to her is not epic love poems, and that changes are even if she would never say this to me, they bore her. But I feel they bring us closer. I tell her things that happen to me and thoughts that I have that seem important at the time, but later on when I am talking to her never seem to come up. That is why I need to write them down. I feel in my heart that I need to tell her things, because when I do I feel as if she is closer to me. But that is not all of my writing.

     The need to write everyday is about me. It may come off selfish, but it is the truth. In nursing school they teach us to ask people about their self care behavior because they can say a great deal about a persons health and mental state. My self care behavior is writing. Writing things down allows me to process what has, is and will happen to me. In a time when everything is rushed and crazy I need to take the time to sit and process what is going on. Some times I need an escape so I write down a fiction story, but in that I am also releasing a thought from my head and capturing on paper for the world to see. I am writing down what I need to say to feel good about myself. In many ways that concept has been theme of my relationship with Biohazard.

     When I first started dating Biohazard I was 23 years old and had never had a girlfriend. I had girls who were friends and at times I had tried to turn that into something more, but sadly that never happened. I was 23 years old, never been on a real date, and I had never kissed a girl. At 23 years old I had already given up on finding love and was ok with that. Many people live full and happy lives with out having romantic love and they do great things. I planned to be one of those people. Then Biohazard came along and I did not make things easy on her. She was falling for me and I was in a place where I felt I was above all of that, but then I fell for her. So I was a mind in distress. Then I heard John Mayer's "Say". which I could write a whole post about what it means to me and how it specks to me, but basically it told me I had to say what "I" needed to say to myself and to Biohazard. It spoke to the conflict I was having with in my own mind and that the only way I could make it better would be by letting it out.

       So thank-you for reading this far down. This could be the longest post I have ever made. If you take nothing else away from this let it be a sense that what you need to say is important, even if only to you. What you say and think matters.

John Mayer- "Say"           

        

 

Around the world

Today Bear, my sisters boyfriend, got on a plane to head back home, back to Australia.  I have watched how they have interacted the past few days and it has made me sad. It makes me sad because I know how it feels to need to say good bye to the person that you love and let them go away from you. You know that you love each other, and that you will see them again, but deep down you wish with all your heart that it was not so. You wish reality and logic did not come into play. You wish that the strength of your love could some how reshape reality so that you would never need to say good-bye.  But you must, all you can do is trust that your love combined will be able to bridge the distance and keep you strong until love brings you together once again.

Sweater Song- Hedley

The other night as I was driving home after dropping Biohazard (my girlfriend) home, I heard "Sweater Song" by Hedley on the radio. I was surprised at how much the song spoke to me, and would speak to anyone who has had to been apart from the person that they love for any length of time.

I have posted a link below. let me know what you think.

Sweater Song- Hedley

International

Recently I have been thinking about how a relationship would work with the couple being around the world from each other. I have been thinking about this because it will soon be the case for my sister and her boyfriend. In a month or so the boyfriend, who I will be calling Bear, will be returning to Australia.

I know what is like not to see the person that you love, but being clear across the planet from them is a new concept for me. The time difference alone is going to be a major factor for them. As this plays out I am planning on writing more about this. As for now I am just hoping that they are making the most of the time they have before they most be apart.

Cellphone

If you are reading this chances are that you have a cellphone. So you already know how useful they are and the importance they have in daily life in these modern times. Now a days it is very odd to find some one who does not have a cellphone of some form. Most people i know have iphones or some other kind of smart phone. I have a "qwerty" phone. A large part of me wishes I had a tougher flip phone, but with all the texting that I do I need a full keyboard.

I heard a radio talk show recently that had a call in about how texting has caused most younger people to prefer to text rather then talk face to face, or even make voice calls. I do not disagree with that in any way. That said texting is a huge part of my life. Texting allows my girlfriend and I to talk almost none stop all day, even if we are over a days travel away from each other. It gives us a great sense of being together and allows us to be part of each others lives in a more involved way. I am able to ask her what she thinks I should have for dinner, or about issues I may be having with my computer. In many was they are just small messages that are not really needed, but they allow us to keep a strong bond between us. In my eyes our cellphones are a major part of our relationship and I am not sure without them we would still be together. Even if we are not with each other in person we know that we are never more then a text away. So I am able to keep my girlfriend in my pocket, as she is able to keep me in hers.

Some times showing your love is as easy as asking how their day is going. In a long distance  relationship often the easiest way to do that is with a text.

Talking tube on a ship.
Before radio was widely use on board, the bridge could use this to
speak to the anchor and cable room below  

Tomorrow She Returns

Tomorrow afternoon I am driving to pick Biohazard up from the bus depot of a town that is about an hour away.  If she had taken a bus right to our home town she would have had to wait around at the train station, and the bus ride would have been 3 hours longer. From what I understand, from my own 2 day bus trip, the bus system in Canada has changed recently to be more "efficient". From what I figure it means more "efficient" for the bus company. They now run fewer buses less often. It stinks, but to be honest I would go halfway round the world to be with her, and around the other half to bring her home.

Having my girlfriend at home means some changes. One of the nicer things about her living so far away most of the year is that I carry her with me where ever I go in the form of my cell phone. When she is away it really does not matter if I am at home or some where else, we are just as close. We can text or call each other no matter where I am. This gives me a fair degree of freedom. My time is basically my own and I do not need to check any plans by her to make sure they do not conflict. Do not get me wrong, I want to spend as much time as possible with her. That is the issue, I want to maximize my time with her, so I need to plan a lot to see that it happens.

I also realized today that after tomorrow the tone of this blog may change somewhat. While for most of the year I am in fact in long distance relationship, for the next four months that is not going to be the case. I am going to have four wonderful months that may not be ideal because am still in school and she will be working, but we will get to see each other. It is possible for me to just drop by and see her even if it would just be for 5 minutes. To me that is a wonderful thing indeed.      

Support

One of the biggest problems I have found with being in a long distance relationship is not being able to be there for each other in person in times of crisis. This past week my Grandmother past away and my girlfriend was unable to come home. This was not easy for me or for her. I greatly wished that she could have been there with me as I went through all the events one must attend when a loved one passes. She wishes she could have been there as well. But such is the nature of being apart. As a couple you need to accept that things will come up and all you will really be able to give or receive is moral and emotional support. You most make do with kind and supportive words when deep down all you want is to be held.


A long distance relationship, like any relationship is about accepting the good with the bad. The sickness and the health. Some times that means pulling up your socks and making do with the support that the person who loves you deeply is able to give. Along with that it is also important to let them know how much you love them and how what they are able to do means so much to you.


I would rather have the support of a woman who loves me deeply, then a hug from a woman who does not support me.  

Claddagh

How to wear Claddagh ring (link)

My Claddagh Ring

The first time I heard about the Claddagh ring was on a show called "The Distract".That has very little to do with my writing today other then to let you know I never knew the impact it would have on my life, and that at the time that is came to matter I already had a slight knowledge of it.

A few weeks after I started dating my girlfriend we were in a coffee shop and I noticed her Claddagh ring was on her right hand and the heart was facing toward her body. It was at this point I really understood that this young woman who I had known for years, and just recently started to see in a new light, had deeper feelings for me then I first thought.

For those of you who do not know Claddagh rings are, they are an Irish ring that is worn to show if you are in a relationship or not. It also can show at what stage you are in that relationship. For someone who was not born with the luck to be part of the Irish this piece of the culture really is most interesting. No have things laid out so clearly is very nice. If nothing else it is a way of showing where you are to your partner without having one of those awkward "talks".

I have posted photos of my ring and how it is worn in its' different meanings. My ring is not normal in that it does not have a crown in the design as many do. From what I have seen this tends to happen in the men's bands. Most likely because it is more difficult to include in the design. I have heard that some designs remove it trying to so the removal of the British crown from Ireland. This is not the idea in my case, but I have spoken to some who have assumed it was.

How ring is warn to show that you are single.

How ring is worn to show that you are in a relationship.  

How ring is was worn to show that you are in a committed relationship.
Possibly engaged.  

How ring is worn to show that you are married or at least engaged.

Together Time and To Get Her Time

As you can read from the top of this blog I am in a long distance relationship with the love of my life. She is coming today home for a week, and then I am going up to see her for a week after that. I have prepared posts that are sitting in draft right now and need to simply be published, but thought today that I could better show the shift that most occur when a couple such as ours gets the time to be together. Some things, such as this blog need to be left waiting until later to allow energies to be focused on more important tasks. Such as showing my love to my love. 

Long Distance Valentine

Some people may think that it is still early to be thinking about Valentine's Day. Some people would even say that Valentine's Day is just a holiday made up by the card companies to sell more product and should not even be thought about at all. Both these statements may be true, but for someone like me who is in a long distance relationship Valentine's Day is very important. I fully agree that people should show their love for each other everyday, and I try to do that. Sadly it is not always easy. When you do not see the person you love everyday sometimes the little things get lost in the blender that is modern life. When you see someone everyday it is easy to show how you feel. "Here honey I will do the dishes." "No I am not really watching this lets watch that show you like." " I got off early lets go out to dinner and a movie." All these things are small daily little things that we often can do without really giving much thought to are important to building a strong loving relationship.

When you are living in different places it is not so easy. Things like, "I will call you when I get home." get missed because of traffic. To you it may have just been a phone call, but to the person you care about it is a symbol of how much you love them. If you are late, or even worse forget. It is a huge blow to them. Making a long distance relationship not only work, but work well means remembering about the little stuff and the big stuff. So is it really so bad to a have a day that reminds us of that. To have a day on the calendar that says, "You should get her a card and remind her how much you care and miss her."

So for anyone out there who thinks that Valentine's Day is just made up and silly, I will admit maybe you are right. But in my eyes any day that reminds me that I have a woman in my life that loves me and that I should celebrate her a bit. Well that is a day that is alright by me.

Taken from the Starcraft 2 Website.
A game that my wonderful girlfriend and I as a team online.